Remember that classic line by Peter Finch in the movie “Network”? I’m reminded of it after having talked to several practice owners in the last few weeks about personnel problems related to what amounts to plain old disrespect. I am generally consulted about the problem at the point at which the practice owner is fed up, angry, and just doesn’t want to take it anymore!
The problem is that the situations have all been allowed to go on far longer than they should. Veterinarians, and I say this all the time, are such nice people and many of you tend to be enablers of behavioral problems within your practice.
Being a nice person does not mean you are required to accept disrespectful or discourteous treatment from those you work with or employ. I can’t imagine that those of you who will stand for disrespectful behavior at work would tolerate that sort of treatment outside of work. They are not mutually exclusive environments.
Every work environment should, must, have a core value of personal respect and courtesy from everyone. That does not mean you can’t get angry or frustrated from time to time. But it does mean that especially during those difficult times everyone must remember to focus thier frustration on the situation and not the person.
The more you allow unacceptable behavior to continue, the less likely you will be at trying to curb it. It simply becomes part of the culture… a habit. And we all know how hard it is to break a habit. Think about it… is that really the kind of culture you want to have at your hospital? Is that how you want the community of prospective employees to think about your practice when a job opening arises? Word gets around faster than a wildfire about things like this… believe me.
Every business has a culture, a personality. Make yours the kind of place you want to work at… not the kind of place you want to avoid.
To those of you who are now, or who may in the future, encounter a situation with a team member that is disresectful or discourteous, I say this:
STOP IT. STOP IT NOW. DO NOT ALLOW IT TO CONTINUE.
It will only get worse if you don’t.
Here is how I have handled these situations when they have presented:
When someone is in verbal “attack mode” and being loud or aggressive, rude or disrespectful, hold up your hand in the universal sign for STOP (under no circumstances touch the offending person) and say in the calmest tone possible: “It is not ok for you to speak to me in that manner.” Wait. If they persist, say again “It is not ok for you to speak to me in that manner.” If they persist, walk away. (If the person has escalated to the point that they have not stopped by the 2nd time, you have a bigger problem than just an inappropriate employee.)
When the person stops, and if you have the time, you can ask them to discuss the point they are trying to make in a courteous tone. Otherwise, ask them to make an appointment to speak with you later.
If one employee or colleague is disrespectful and you don’t establish appropriate personal boundaries with them, don’t be surprised if the behavior spreads to other staff or you have staff leave because the culture is not acceptable to them.
